|
- You are immune to the
smell of "the kimchi breath."
- You no longer come to a
complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield the
right-of-way.
- You can pick up a single
strand of noodles with chopsticks.
- You ask for more "ko-chu"
because the kimchi-chige soup is not hot enough.
- You enjoy slurping your
noodles as loudly as you can.
- Your back is sore from
bowing.
- You walk down the street
holding hands with your buddy.
- You ask your wife to
stand outside with a baseball bat to protect your public parking
space in front of the house.
- You can eat barefooted in
a restaurant with a foot in your lap.
- You can cut in at the
front of the line of waiting people with the best of them.
- You look forward to
winter in your off post housing so you can store beer and frozen
foods in your bedroom or bathroom.
- You can fall asleep on
the city bus and wake up at your stop.
- You can shovel in an
entire bowl of rice and half a course of Bulkogi into your mouth
before you swallow.
- You rather watch local TV
than AFKN.
- You can make a left turn
looking only to the right.
- You can convert any US
unit measurements into metric measurements in your head.
- You look forward to
Chusok and the Lunar New Year each year.
- You think that Korea's
greatest natural resource is good looking young women.
- You only lock your door
if there are lots of "Mi-gooks" around.
- People ask if you want to
go by car and you respond, "No, I'm in a hurry."
- Someone says, "Bed," and
you think "Yol."
- You realize that it is
safer to "J" walk than use a pedestrian crosswalk.
- You wear white socks with
a dark suit.
- You can use a public
bathroom for both genders and think nothing of it.
- You know every
interchange on the Seoul-Pusan Expressway by heart.
- You know all the words to
the Korean National Anthem and you enjoy singing it.
- You don't need a restroom
to relieve yourself.
- You crawl back into your
house to get your coat, rather than take your shoes back off and
walk on the floor with shoes on.
- You bow at inanimate
objects.
- You walk around humming
the tune the crosswalk signal lights play.
- You enjoy shopping at a
local open market place more than Main PX or Commissary.
- Someone says breakfast,
you think of "fish, soup and seaweed."
- You'd rather sit on the
floor than in a chair.
- You start believing that
you can blend into a large crowd of Koreans.
- All your shoes are bent
flat in the back.
- You let your eyes be
drawn towards any female whose hair isn't black.
- You answer the phone by
saying "yoboseyo," and sometimes even at the office.
- Someone says "mansion"
and you think of a two bedroom flat in a 400-unit apartment
building.
- You mutter "Aigu" when
lifting a heavy objects.
- You suck in air through
your teeth before saying "no" to anything.
- You start growling and
spitting inside your mouth to add emphasis to what you are about
to say.
- You can convert Hangul
into English without repeating it to yourself first.
- You always wave your left
hand to signal you are going to cut in front of another driver
without looking first.
- You select shoes based on
how easily you can get them on and off.
- You answer "Nhe" even
when speaking English to non-Korean friends.
- You carry chopsticks in
your back pocket.
- You enjoy putting lots of
red pepper sauce on your salads or French-fries.
- You don't freak out when
the salad arrives with octopus legs still wiggling on top of it.
- You are not embarrassed
when old ladies are standing in a bus while you are sitting down.
- You like OB or Crown
better than Bud or Miller.
|
