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Jokes Submitted by:
Deba, 18 Nov 2008 |
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The Good Lawyer
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A group of dinner
guests were blaming all of
America’s troubles on lawyers when
a woman said,
“They aren’t all so bad. Why, last
year a lawyer gave me $1000.”
“I don’t believe it,” the host
responded.“It’s true, I swear it,”
said the woman.
“I had a complicated personal
injury case and what with the
lawyer’s fee, the cost of expert
witnesses, the expense of the
appeal and so on, my bill was
$41,000.
When the judgment only amounted to
$40,000, my lawyer simply forgave
the difference.” |
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Jokes Submitted by:
Laxmi Iyer, 18 Nov 2008 |
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Haircut
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There is this
good ol' barber in some city in
the US. One day a florist goes to
him for a haircut. After the cut,
he goes to pay the barber and the
barber replies: "I am sorry, I
cannot accept money from you; I am
doing a community service." The
florist is happy and leaves the
shop. The next morning when the
barber goes to open his shop,
there is a thank you card and a
dozen roses waiting at his door.
A cop goes for a haircut and he
also goes to pay the barber and
the barber replies: "I am sorry, I
cannot accept money from you; I am
doing a community service." The
cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber
goes to open his shop, there is a
thank you card and a dozen donuts
waiting at his door.
An Asian software engineer goes
for a haircut and he also goes to
pay the barber and barber replies;
"I am sorry, I cannot accept money
from you; I am doing a community
service." The next morning when
the barber goes to open his shop,
guess what he finds there - a
dozen Asians waiting for a free
haircut... |
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Jokes Submitted by:
Xie, 18 Nov 2008 |
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UN Meeting
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In an U.N meeting
regarding world food reservation,
all of the sudden, the U.S
delegate turned to the Korean and
said: ?Please stop eating dogs.?
The Korean replied: ?Please ask
the Indian to eat beef then we
will stop eating dogs.?
The U.S shook his head and turned
to the Japanese: ?Please stop
eating whale?.
The Japanese replied: ?Well,
please ask the Muslims to eat pork
then we will stop eating whale.?
The U.S shook his head and turned
to the Vietnamese: ?What do you
eat, sir??
The Vietnamese replied: ?Like the
Chinese, we eat all animals
including their eggs, eyes, ears,
tails, feet, legs except table
legs. We are the greatest food
saver, sir? |
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Jokes Submitted by:
Rayan Sin, 18 Nov 2008 |
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Nasa And the Lawyer
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NASA was
interviewing professionals to be
sent to Mars. Only one could go --
and couldn’t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer,
was asked how much he wanted to be
paid for going. “A million
dollars,” he answered, “because I
want to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a doctor, was
asked the same question. He asked
for $2 million. “I want to give a
million to my family,” he
explained, “and leave the other
million for the advancement of
medical research.”
The last applicant was a lawyer.
When asked how much money he
wanted, he whispered in the
interviewer’s ear, “Three million
dollars.”
“Why so much more than the
others?” asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, “If you give
me $3 million, I’ll give you $1
million, I’ll keep $1 million, and
we’ll send the engineer to Mars.” |
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Jokes Submitted by:
Lmiden, 18 Nov 2008 |
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Karate in heaven
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There were two
old buddies who continued to
compete in karate tournaments well
past their prime. One day, while
relaxing after yet another
competition, they were chatting
and wondering if there is karate
in heaven and made a pact that
whoever passed away first would
come back and let the other know.
About a week later one of the old
Karateka passed away. About a
month after that the surviving old
Karateka was at yet another
competition when all of a sudden
he saw an apparition. Sure enough
it was his old buddy who had come
back to see him.
"Well, please tell me," asked the
surviving Karateka. "Are there
karate competitions in heaven?"
"I have good news and bad news for
you," replied the apparition to
his old karate buddy.
"The good news is that, yes, there
are karate competitions in
heaven.The bad news is that your
first match is against Gichin
Funakoshi the day after tomorrow." |
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