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Submitted by:
Adam, London, UK, Mon 17 Nov 2008 |
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Liar
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A young loiterer
from Wuling was known as a
notorious liar. One day he fell in
with an old man in the
marketplace.
"I've heard that you are a great
liar," said the old man. "Just
show me how good you are at lying.
"
"Oh, I have no time for that right
now," replied the young man. "I've
just heard that they have drained
the East Lake and everybody has
gone there to catch soft-shelled
turtles. I'm going there myself to
catch some."
Believing him, the old man made a
beeline for the East Lake. There,
what greeted his eyes was the
boundless expanse of the waters of
the lake. Then he realized that he
had been taken in. |
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Submitted by:
Bino, Malaysia, Mon 17 Nov 2008 |
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Jurassic park
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This sardarji
goes to the see Jurassic Park and
when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his
seat.
His friend asks him "kyon sardarji,
kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha
hai cinema hi to hai" (What
Sardarji? Are you afraid of the
cinema?).
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur
akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai
lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya
pata "( I am an intelligent man, I
know it is a movie, but does that
animal know?) |
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Submitted by:
Sonldan, 16 Nov 2008 |
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One Irishman
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One Irishman was
explaining to the other how the
Lord often compensates for a
person's natural deficiencies.
"You see," he said, "If someone is
a bit blind he might have a very
good sense of hearing, or if his
sense of taste has gone, he may
have a keen sense of smell."
"I agree with you," said the
other. "I've always noticed that
if someone has one short leg, the
other one is always just that
little bit longer." |
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Submitted by:
Janathan, 16 Nov 2008 |
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Big Talk
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A: " I have a
drum whose sound can be heard for
hundreds of miles."
B: " I have a buffalo that's so
big its head alone stretches from
the northern side of the river to
the southern side."
A:" Impossible!"
B: "How can your drum be made
without the skin of such a
buffalo!" |
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Submitted by:
Irfan, 16 Nov 2008 |
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KBC Auditions
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Since Amitabh
Bachchan's contract for Kaun
Banega Crorepati is going to
expire soon, here are a few
persons who could audition for the
show.
Nana Patekar: Jaldi se jawab bol.
Sahi jawab tere ko lakhpati bana
dalega.Galat jawab tere ko hijda
bana dega.
Shatrughan Sinha: Khamosh! Bihari
babu ke saamne zaban chalata hai.
Tera cheque phaad ke phek doonga.
Dharmendra: Galat jawab ! Kutte
Kameene, main tera khoon pee
jaoonga.
Amrish Puri: Sahi jawab ! Mogambo
khush hua !
Amjad Khan: Kitne options the?
Chaar ! Soover ke bachchon ! Chaar
chaar options ! Bahut nainsaafi
hai ! Dhish-keoin Dhish-keoin !
50-50 kar ke do galat jawab main
uda diye. Ab bol, tera kya hoga
kaaliya?
Sanjay Dutt: Aye item log, kaye ko
udhar khada hai? Idhar aake mere
pass baith jaa. Kya be chikne -
tere ko aata hai to bol dal varna
main tere ko idhar-eech phod
dalega.
Raj Kumar: Jaani, huuum, hhhuuuum
hote to apne dost ko phone kar ke
sawaal pooch lete.
Jagdeep: Bole to Soorma Bhopali -
meri jeb ho gayi khaali. Mere pass
to koi cheque nahin hain. Arre
mujhko jaane do.
Mithun Chakraborty: Eeyaeech ! Tu
audience poll karega ? Aye, yahan
ke public ke paas time nahin hai.
Kya nahin hai? Time nahin hai.
Kesto Mukherji: Hee-heek. Hee-yaik.
Apne ko sab kuch do-do dikh rahela
hai.Hee-heek. Yeh aath options
kidhar se aa gaye? Hee-yok. Apne
ko bahut chad gayeli hai.
Ashok Kumar: To abhi aapne yeh
dekha ( wheeze ), ki yahan se
Delhi ke Ramesh Kumar ( gasp),
yahan se Rs 20,000 leke chale gaye.
( groan ). Kal aur dus logon ko
leke phir milenge Hum Log (croak
). |
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