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Jokes Submitted by:
Jacky, Friday, Nov 21st 2008 |
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Two old women
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Two old women
were sitting on a bench waiting
for their bus. The buses were
running late, and a lot of time
passed. Finally, one woman turned
to the other and said, "You know,
I've been sitting here so long, my
butt fell asleep!'.
The other woman turned to her and
said "I know! I heard it snoring!" |
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Jokes Submitted by:
Mohan, Friday, Nov 21st 2008 |
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New glasses
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An army private
went to see the Medical Captain
for a new pair
of glasses. The Captain looked in
his book of record and said,
"But you just got a new pair last
month!"
"Yes sir, b.. b.. but I got them
b..broken in an accident,"
stammered the private.
"Accident, what kind of an
accident?" The Captain looked in
his
book of Accident definitions and
glossaries, "Road-march
accident, Firing Range accident,
PT accident, Drill accident?"
"No, no nothing of those..." said
the private.
"Well then, what is it?"
"I'd rather not tell you sir..."
"Well, no satisfactory
explanations, no new glasses,"
said the
medical officer, ready to stand
up, "I've to see my patients
now."
"No, no sir wait, I broke them
when I was kissing my girl,"
blurted the private.
"Don't be daft man, how could you
break your glasses kissing
a girl?"
"You see, she crossed her
legs....."
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Jokes Submitted by:
Sweety Sen, Thursday, Nov 20th 2008 |
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Scratch
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A man was being
interviewed for a job.
"Were you in the service?" ask the
interviewer.
"Yes, I was a marine," responded
the applicant.
"Did you see any active duty?"
"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and
I have a partial disability."
"May I ask what happened?"
"Well, I had a grenade go off
between my legs and I lost both
testicles."
"You're hired. You can start
Monday at 10 am."
"When does everyone else start? I
don't want any preferential
treatment because of my
disability."
"Everyone else starts at 7 am but
I might as well be honest with
you. Nothing gets done between 7
and 10. We just sit
around scratching our balls trying
to decide what to do first." |
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Jokes Submitted by:
Ken, Thursday, Nov 20th 2008 |
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Three Nurses
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Three nurses all
decided to play a joke on the
doctor they worked for.
Later in the day, they all got
together on break and discussed
what they
had done to the doctor. The first
nurse said, "I put cotton in his
stethoscope so he couldn't hear.
The second nurse said, "Well, I
did worse
than that. I poked holes in all
his condoms. The third nurse
fainted.
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Jokes Submitted by:
Jared, Thursday, Nov 20th 2008 |
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Ugly Kid
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| A lady gets on a
train with her baby. A guy sitting
across from her looks at the baby
and starts laughing hysterically.
He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest
kid I've ever seen. It looks like
a monkey. What an ugly kid." The
lady freaks out, and goes running
into the next car sobbing
uncontrollably. The conductor sees
her and comes over to her to
console her. He says, "Lady,
relax...things are going to be all
right...we'll get off at the next
stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe
we'll even find a banana for your
monkey." |
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