Italian Wedding

(must be read with an Italian accent)
About halfway through the reception, the brides mother
went to her daughter and said, "Go upstairs and ah make
ah your husband ah happy, eh?" The bride did as she was
told, and upon finding her new husband, she took him
upstairs above the celebrating crowd's watchful eye.
He knew what was to take place, wasting no time, he took
his tuxedo jacket, dress shirt and t-shirt off. She noticed
that he had a hairy chest! Aghast, she quickly ran
downstairs, found her mother and told her "Momma, he's got
ah hairy chest!" Her mother, in hopes to calm her down,
said "Go upstairs and ah make ah your husband ah happy, eh?"
She went back upstairs. He then took off his pants and she
noticed that his legs were hairy too! She was quite old
fashioned and didn't know what to think, so she ran
downstairs yet again to find her mother. She found her,
pulled her aside and said, "Momma, Momma Mia - he's got ah
hairy legs too, what am I ah going to do, eh?" Her mother
trying to soothe her again, said "Now go upstairs child and
make ah your husband ah happy, eh? Now go upstairs child!"
She went back to the room, when she entered, he took his
shoes off, then his socks. When she looked down, she noticed
that one of his feet was half gone! She ran downstairs,
frightened and found Momma once again - "Momma, he's got ah
foot and ah half!" But this time, the mother thought and
said "Child, you stay downstairs and ah let your Momma go
upstairs and ah make ah your husband ah happy!"


Matrimonio All'Italiana

Durante un ricevimento nuziale, la madre della sposa va dalla
figlia e le dice: "Vai di sopra e rendi felice tuo marito!"
La sposa fa quello che le viene detto, e, trovato il novello
sposo, lo porta di sopra, al riparo dagli sguardi degli
invitati. Il marito sapendo cosa lo aspettava, senza perdere
tempo, si tolse subito la giacca, la camicia e la maglietta.
La moglie notò che aveva il petto villoso. Stupefatta, corse
giù dalla madre e le disse: "Mamma, ha il petto villoso!"
La madre per calmare la figlia le disse: "Và su e rendi felice
tuo marito!" Al che la sposa tornò di sopra. Il marito si
tolse i pantaloni e lei notò che anche le gambe erano pelose.
La sposa era una donna all'antica e non sapeva cosa pensare;
corse giù di nuovo, trovò la madre, la prese da parte e le
disse: "Mamma, mamma mia, anche le sue gambe sono pelose,
che debbo fare?" La madre per calmarla le disse: "Su piccola,
va sù e rendi felice tuo marito, adesso và su piccola."
La sposa tornò in camera da letto e appena entrò il marito
si tolse le scarpe e poi le calze. Quando lei abassò lo
sguardo notò che uno dei piedi era monco! Corse giù di nuovo
e trovò la madre: "Mamma, ha una gamba e mezza!" Ma questa
volta la madre ci pensò su un pò e disse: "Bambina, tu rimani
qui, su a rendere felice tuo marito ci vado io!"