It's been a long day," complained Mrs. Murphy, " and I haven't sat down since I got up."

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Then there was the cross-eyed Irish teacher who resigned because he had no control over his pupils.

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"Have you seen my vest?" Paddy asked his wife.
"Sure and you have the thing on, you old fool," said his wife.
"Just as well you noticed," said Paddy, "or I would have gone out without it."

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Casey complained, "That new dance hall is crowded to the roof and all up the staircase. It's not to be wondered that people don't go there."

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Irish business men have their names printed on the front and back of their business card in case someone looses them.

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Seamus do you understand French?
I do if its spoken in Irish

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"Ah, that was a lovely dress," said Maureen, "and it would have fitted me if I could have got into it."

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"Ma, there's a strange man at the door."

"Has he got a bill?"

"No, Ma, just an ordinary nose."

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Did you hear about the Irishmen who were asked to be a Jehovah witness ?

They refused because they had not seen the accident.

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Q. What happened to the Irish Sea Scouts?

A. Their tent sank.

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