Paddy and Mary, being good Irish Catholics, had so many children that they didn't know what to do...Paddy says to Mary,
"Sure, and we have to get some advice from the parish priest. We can't keep on with anymore children."
So they went to see the priest, and the priest says to Paddy, "Now, me boyo, you know the church only allows two ways to limit the wee ones. One is to abstain altogether, and the other is the rhythm.." Paddy scratches his head and says:
"Well, now, Father, how in the hell am I going to find a ceili band at 4:00 o'clock in the morning????"