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What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up!
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Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?
It's pit-iful!
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What is the best day to have a cookout?
Friday!
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What is red and goes up and down?
A tomato in an elevator!
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How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
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What happens when you sit on a grape?
It gives a little whine!
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What is Noah's favorite fruit?
Pears (pairs)!
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What did the pork chop say to the steak?
Nice to meat you!
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What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
Firecrackers!
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What do peases, beanses and soupses come in?
Kansas!
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What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
No thanks, I'm stuffed!
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How does a molded fruit-flavored dessert answer the phone?
Jell-o!
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How do you tease fruit?
Banananananananana!
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What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on its summer vacation!
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When do you stop at green and go at red?
When you're eating a watermelon!
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What fruit was a great conqueror?
Alexander the Grape!
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How do you make a milkshake?
Creep up behind a cow and say BOO!
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Where was the first donut made?
In Grease!
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What kind of bean doesn't grow in a garden?
A human bean!
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How did the farmer mend his pants?
With cabbage patches!
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Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
Because it makes you break out!
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What do you call artificial spaghetti?
Mockaroni!
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What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
He has a lot of ketchup time!
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Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
He couldn't concentrate!
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How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste!
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Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his parents were in a jam!
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Why did the baby cookie cry?
Because his mom was a wafer so long!
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What did the macaroni say to the tomato?
Don't get saucy with me!
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How do you make a strawberry shake?
Take it to a scary movie!
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Why are cooks mean?
Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream!
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What did the hamburger name his daughter?
Patty!
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What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A deviled egg!
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If a carrot & a cabbage ran a race, who would win?
The cabbage, because it is a head!
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How do you turn soup into gold?
Put 14 carrots in it!
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Why can't the magician tell his magic secrets in the garden?
The corn has ears & the potatoes have eyes!
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What candy lives in outer space?
The Milky Way!
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Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is blue and goes up and down?
A blueberry in an elevator!
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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
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Why doesn't the corn like the farmer?
Because he picks their ears!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
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What type of cheese do dogs like on their pizza?
Mutts-erella!
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What is yellow and goes click-click?
A ballpoint banana!
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What type of fruit steals honey?
Yogi Pear!
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What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
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What goes up a fruit and comes down a vegetable?
A tomato...throw it up and it comes down a squash!
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What did the momma cookie say when her baby got run over?
Oh Crumbs!
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What do you eat at a church supper?
Hymn-burgers!
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Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He felt crummy!
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What kind of lettuce did they serve on The Titanic?
Iceberg!
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How did Ronald McDonald celebrate his engagement to Wendy?
He gave her an onion ring!
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What is green with red spots?
A pickle with measles!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice!
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A faucet, lettuce and a tomato were in a race...what happened?
The faucet was running, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was
trying to ketchup!
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Why did the tomato get by the car?
It couldn't ketchup!
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Why did the boy close the refrigerator door?
He didn't want to see the salad dressing!
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What do you call two banana peels?
A pair of slippers!
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