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Erap, Joe De V and Fred Lim are soliciting campaign funds from the
Sultan of Brunei. The Sultan has a very intelligent horse, who
understands English but is lame. Sultan says he will donate a
million dollars to the candidate who can make the horse laugh, cry
and run.
Joe says, "Me first." (as he is wont to do). He puts his face in
front of the horse, and starts wiggling his huge ears. The horse
enjoys the breeze, but does not laugh. Joe takes out money and
waives it in front of the horse while making sad, crying sounds. The
horse ignores the money, and refuses to cry. Joe then slaps the
horse's behind, and starts shouting "Heyaah". The horse ignores him
and refuses to run. (The fact that the horse speaks English was
totally lost on Joe, who is not very bright).
Lim comes up next. He looks at the horse and says, "Kapag 'di ka
tumawa, papatayin kita". Horse no laugh. He walks over to the other
side and says, "Kapag 'di ka umiyak, papa-salvage kita". Horse no
cry. Finally, he stands beside the horse and says, "Kung hindi ka
tumakbo, pipinturahan ko yung bahay mo ng "AKO'Y PILAY". Horse no
run.
Erap comes to the front. He whispers something in the horse's ear.
The horse bucks and laughs so loudly, the Sultan thought it was
going to die. Erap whispers again. The horse starts to weep
copiously. Finally, Erap whispers again, and the horse takes off
running like a shot.
Joe and Fred are amazed. "What did you say to the horse first?" asks
Joe.
Erap: I told him "I'm the Vice-President of the Philippines".
"And how did you make him cry?" asks Fred.
Erap: I told him "And I'm going to be the next President of the
Philippines".
"Why did he run away?" they both asked.
Erap: "I told him if he didn't start running now, I was going to
bring him back to the Philippines, and make him a registered
Filipino voter.
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