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While riding a taxi, If you should ever get the notion to open the
window and stick your hand out, you will knock over the first
bicyclist, where upon hitting the ground will be run over by the
second bicyclist.
If ever going from point A to point B, it is faster to drive on the
wrong side of the street, your taxi drive will.
While riding from point A to point B in a taxi, you will spend
roughly 20% of the time driving, 15% to beeping the horn, 40% to
changing lanes, 15% driving on the sidewalk, & 10% driving in the
wrong lane.
U-turns, though dangerous are permitted in China; luckily taxi
drivers will use extra precautions, like waiting until rush hour
traffic, and they will only attempt u-turns in carefully selected
places, like busy intersections.
A taxi driver will wiz by within 1 foot of a pedestrian, come within
6 inches of a bicyclist, yet swerve violently 2 lanes to miss a pot
hole.
Taxies have a auto-regulating temperature, whereby if a passenger
opens a window to cool off, the driver's hand will slowly move over
to turn on the heater; Yet if the passenger turns on the heater, the
driver's hand will slowly open his window.
Traffic jams are common, but Chinese drivers believe traffic jams
can be cured by the sonic harmony of every car's horn.
Foreigners need to be careful when speaking their native tongue, for
some phrases translate irregularly.
For example,
1. When speaking to a taxi driver..."Verooom please hurry"
translates to ..."Please go through every red light, and get real
close to that pedestrian."
2. "I speak English" translated by a taxi driver means "Please take
the long expensive route" Taxi companies only purchase luxury cars,
whereby after the passenger is in, there remains a spacious 1 cubic
foot to put his luggage.
In any taxi the handle for the Turn signal will be pristine and
untouched, yet the horn will be worn down to the nub. Taxi drivers
have many options when changing lanes, after they change lanes they
can either...
A. Look in their rear view to see if they cut anyone off, or
B. Listen for the other driver's horn.
By Robert Brownell
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